Dave and Noah abstain from using their brains during this week's rom-com 40 Days and 40 Nights, starring Josh Hartnett, Shannon Sossamon and Maggie Gyllenhaal.  This is the 2nd installment of our annual summer series Fatty Goes Local!! This week we put on our "heartlights" for St. Paul, Minnesota's hunk-a-saurus honkey Josh Hartnett.

Ever since he's learned that his recent ex-Noxzema model of a girlfriend is engaged to be married to an even bigger douche, our boy Hartnett finds it hard to enjoy all the biore strip models he's taking to hump mountin'. He gives up all sex (including masturbation) for 40 days.  But like the Klingons say, abstinence is a dish best served while wearing a Hartnett!

Dave has an aneurysm over Hartnett's choice in star-humpery.  Noah dishes some super outdated gossip on the man whose harbored many a pearl with his lucky number sleven.

Direct download: 40d40edits_2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 3:51pm CST
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Fatty goes local!  Dave and Noah take a staycation and visit New Ulm, MN for this week's movie New in Town starring Renee Zellweger, Harry Connick Jr., and every extra that was passed over for the Cohen Brothers' Fargo.

Zellweger is a Miami hotshot clawing her way up the corporate ladder. She is assigned to downsize a plant in New Ulm, MN. This is a town full of secrets, most of which involve Blanche Gunderson's mysteriously tasty batch of tapioca pudding. It's like Fried Green Tomatoes, but without the Southern heat, Klu Klux Klan and charmingly implied cannibalism.

The town fireman kindles a fire in Zellweger's squinty, squinty eyes, but he's a country boy and she's a Cosmo-terian. How will they ever see eye to eye?  The secret's in the tapioca!

Dave goes local with his palette cleanser and gets a history lesson on the Dakota War of 1862. In keeping with the way Renee Zellweger prepared for Bridget Jones' Diary, Noah put on 20 lbs for this episode! 

Direct download: newintownedit2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:45pm CST
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There is no dave, only Noaaaaahhhh!

Noah gets the best crack in town from a moose. He then reads from the scripture of last week's double issue of Entertainment Weekly. 

Direct download: ew1266_1227.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 9:56pm CST
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Dave and Noah break out the calamine lotion for this week's rash from the past, The Seven Year Itch starring Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell.  Ewell is a middle-aged New York publishing exec with an overactive imagination.  Having just sent his wife and kid away for the Summer, he comes home to find a pinup-girl-turned-Toothpaste-model renting the space above his place.  He's got the only air conditioner in existence and she's gotta lotta heat.  A chance encounter involving a tomato plant brings her downstairs, with a bottle of bubbly and a hankering for a ride on his amazing baby grand piano bench. We all spend the rest of this flick watching Marilyn Monroe get blown.  By air.  Various, random gusts of air.  Because if Tom Ewell won't make a move, nature will.  Nature always finds a way. 

Dave talks about how Marilyn reminds him of his grandma and Noah invents a new term called "The Subway Bidet".  Move over Jared! 

Direct download: sevenyearedit_2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 7:11pm CST
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Dave and Noah get KRAKEN on this week's Greasy Rom Com My Life in Ruins, Staring Nia Vardalos, Alexis Georgoulis, Richard Dreyfuss and the ancient ruins of the ACRAPolis!

Nia Vardalos is praying to the wrong Gods.  After her main man dumps her and she gets laid off from being a professor of Greek History, she is doomed to a lifetime of giving tours of the ancient land that has broken her spirit.  But a mysterious new driver is willing to teach her a thing or two about how to get her own ancient ruins back up and ruining! And Richard Dreyfuss tags along to provide some much needed mirth that doesn't involve alien encounters, 20 foot sharks or a great american opus.

Dave tells a tale of a tour that involved South African Graveyard hijinks.  Noah remembers how he once thought that working next to the Grand Canyon might make him look thinner.

Direct download: ruinsedit_2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 9:32pm CST
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Dave and Noah get "spirit-fingered" by this week's romantic comedy Fired Up! Starring Nicholas D'Agosto, Eric Christian Olsen and Sarah Roemer.

Eric and Nicholas are two high school football jocks who con their way into Cheerleader Camp for the girls, for the glory and for the gonorrhea!

Dave has eaten his cheerios and is filled with the spirit of the mighty pom-pom while Noah quizes him on his knowledge of Cheer history.  

Direct download: firedupedit.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 1:41pm CST
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No Dave. 

Noah drinks and podcasts from his closet, then loses his "shirtless virginity" with a panda-shaped man. 


Direct download: Fallowrub.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:58pm CST
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Dave and Noah duck and cover under their nearest apocalyptic Rom Com: Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, starring Steve Carell and Kiera Knightly. It is the year 2021 and humanity is about to go the way of the dinosaur. In 21 days asteroid "Matilda" will hit earth.  Applebees restaurants are offering skinny margaritas along with their ecstacy laced orgies, Patton Oswalt is trying heroin and getting tail left and right and Steve Carell's wife has just run out on him.  He helps his neighbor, Kiera Knightly, find a way back to her family in exchange for her help in finding his first ex-girlfriend, the "initial one who got away". Along the way they discover that the end of the world is just the beginning...of their true heart's desire! 

Noah puts Dave in the Chuck Klosterman Closet and makes him answer hypothetical questions. Dave says goodbye to Dunder Mifflin. 

Direct download: seefriendedit.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:09pm CST
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She could never be your woman but she'll always be Catwoman. Dave and Noah take a break from doing The Batdance and sit down to watch Michelle Pfeiffer and Paul Rudd do what only Ashton and Demi could pull off: Spring-Autumn relations.  2007's I Could Never Be Your Woman begins with a period. Michelle Pfeiffer's daughter is well on her way into womanhood while Michelle herself is slowly exiting through the gift shop. She is a writer for a teen show called You Go Girl who can't get over the former love of her life, played by Jon Lovitz, a man who left Catwoman for a kitten. Paul Rudd joins the cast of You Go Girl, and charms his way into Pfeiffer's ancient kitty-liter box of a heart.  But loving Paul Rudd is not easy, especially when you have Tracey Ullman playing Mother Nature, reminding you that 1999 called and it wants you to check the expiration date on your uterus. 

Dave and Noah earn the Boy Scout grey badge.  Come hear their tales of how they both had once fallen and couldn't get up from the clutches of elder-love! 

Direct download: Icouldneveredit.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:34pm CST
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Good Morning Fatty Listener.  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves two stars, one past their prime and the other playing essentially their own batty self (you discern which is which). You may have seen this movie before, since it involves a secret agent trying to woo a vapid blonde in exotic locales such as Salzburg, Austria and the Witchita International Airport. Knight and Day (2010) stars Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. You have 23 minutes to complete this mission, and as always should any member of your team be caught or killed the Podfather Ira Glass will disavow all knowledge of your actions. This message will self-destruct in five megabytes. 

Dave and Noah board the Cam Dizzy Tom Cruise and set sail for intrigue!  Noah plays Truth or False with Dave regarding Katie Holmes' ex-hubby and Dave finally finds the love of a lifetime, a love to last his whole life through. Spoiler alert, it's C.I.A Oprah. 

Direct download: knindayfinal.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:11pm CST
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